The ball is not solid in the joint. It's made to move. The easiest way to do this is to separate the ball joint from the knuckle (or whatever it's connected to), then put a nail or some kind of straight stiff object which will fit into the hole, and clock it to your desired orientation. Then reassemble, ensuring you don't turn it in the process. Just keep checking it along the way to make sure it doesn't turn.
It may be a little stiff (or really stiff, if it's a new ball joint), but it will turn. It's the whole purpose of a ball joint is to provide zero deflection while allowing the connection to spin on an axis.
As far as the torque goes, it's been my experience you want this tight, so tighten it. 55lb-ft seems low, but if that's what the book says, then I get it ... however, if you have a wrench on it (which it sounds like what you are using), tighten it pretty much as tight as you can get it with the wrench by itself. You'll probably be right in the neighborhood. If the castle nut is not quite clocked right, tighten it more until you can get the cotter pin into the hole without friction. Use a hammer if you have to on the wrench to get it that "little bit more" to allow alignment of the hole and castle nut.