Both of you are partially right.
The engine oil should be warmed properly before hauling ass. Most cars don't have an oil temperature sensor and display for it, so as a rule of thumb it can be said that engine oil takes about twice as long to reach operating temperature than the coolant. So, if you require 4 minutes to get the coolant to operating temperature, wait 8 minutes before hauling ass.
However, the proper way of warming your engine is not by idling; it is by driving gently. Idling just wastes fuel and also is an extremely inefficient way of heating the engine due to the small amount of fuel injected. If you let the engine idle, it stays at low temperature longer than it would stay by driving gently.
Some hybrid cars have a battery that can be charged by the mechanical energy produced by the engine instead of idling pointlessly. If the battery is not full, you can expect pretty good warmup performance on these hybrid cars even when being at standstill. Remember, it's not idling then, it's charging the battery. Also, it is easier to avoid high engine loads on these hybrid cars when cold; the control computer probably already has the code to avoid high engine loads on a cold engine, instead providing power from the battery as needed.
Modern engine oils, however, are pretty good even when cold. So it's not like you will destroy your car in few years if you fail to use the best warmup procedure. You will just get somewhat reduced number of miles from your engine before it dies due to old age.
As a hint, if you are in a cold climate, consider installing an electric block heater. This reduces the warmup time considerably when cold.