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2009 Honda Civic with 142,000 mi, recent oil change, new battery, won't turn over:

Began when it wouldn't start one day; checked the battery windows and plates were bone-dry, so bought a new battery and installed it. Initially it worked, but was a bit rough - mechanic drove it around for a while and it smoothed out, so I took it home...

Next day, won't start or even turn over. No dash lights, no automatic locks, nothing.

Possibly unrelated:

  • Right after I installed the battery there were several whooshes from the right front end, and a heavy vapor that was shooting out from an unidentifiable place, slight electrical-burning smell...

  • Automatic locks occasionally won't work, usually in cold weather

  • All windows except drivers no longer work (have NOT checked fuses)

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    Sounds like something is throwing a significant drain on the battery. Your first "unrelated" bullet has me worried. There's some type of huge issue going on there and I'd bet it is related to the issue. I don't know what it would be from, but would venture to assume you'll probably find what you're looking for there. Recharge the battery off the vehicle, then attache the battery back in and see if it makes the same noise. If so, localize it and see if you can tell what's going on.
    – Pᴀᴜʟsᴛᴇʀ2 ♦
    Jul 29, 2016 at 14:35
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    This sounds to me like a short.
    – krthkskmr
    Jul 29, 2016 at 15:17
  • the heavy vapor may have been refrigerant. did it smell at all? maybe open the low side cap and depress the schrader valve. at this point you may as well measure the draw on the battery once you get it recharged or replaced.
    – Ben
    Jul 29, 2016 at 15:32
  • Problem resolved - it looks like it was related to the AC relay.
    – S.K.
    Jul 29, 2016 at 18:35

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check to make sure you do not have an illegal tracking device, if you are still making payments to dealership, they put these battery draining devices without the knowledge or consent of the vehicle owner. we had one that would drain 15% of our battery 24/7 whether we drove or not

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