2009 Honda Civic with 142,000 mi, recent oil change, new battery, won't turn over:
Began when it wouldn't start one day; checked the battery windows and plates were bone-dry, so bought a new battery and installed it. Initially it worked, but was a bit rough - mechanic drove it around for a while and it smoothed out, so I took it home...
Next day, won't start or even turn over. No dash lights, no automatic locks, nothing.
Right after I installed the battery there were several whooshes from the right front end, and a heavy vapor that was shooting out from an unidentifiable place, slight electrical-burning smell...
Automatic locks occasionally won't work, usually in cold weather
All windows except drivers no longer work (have NOT checked fuses)