So, here's the deal:
-No lights, no noise, no clicking.
-Battery voltage reads fine on multimeter. Terminals are very clean and not corroded.
-But it won't jump start.
-Headlights turn on.
-Fuses are fine.
I have googled myself into frustration, and am mystified. Any help would be appreciated.
It's a 2005 Pontiac Sunfire.
Update:
I tried to start it this morning and it cranked just like normal for a millisecond before going completely dead. No inside/ouside lights. I took the battery out on the suggestion of a mechanic and apparently the problem could be that my usual many small trips have caused the battery to drain. It's currently getting charged. Do you guys think this could be the cause of the problem? The battery IS actually due for a charge.