As of yesterday, my 2002 Honda Civic no longer starts or even cranks, even with a boost from another vehicle. Check engine light isn't on, and the car is currently too unstable for me to get a reading from my Bluetooth OBD reader.
Here's what we currently know:
With the key in the on position (II), sometimes (but not always), the car goes totally bonkers, with random dash lights blinking and a variety of different clicks coming from the dash, the gear shift, and the glove box.
Both battery connectors are less than a year old and have zero corrosion. Just to be sure, we tightened up both, but this had no effect. It doesn't seem to be the connectors or a loose connection.
We don't have the equipment to test battery levels, but the battery is a premium brand, is less than a year old, and because I only go out about once a month, is always disconnected when I'm not using it to avoid vampire drain prematurely killing it. I've dealt with many a dead battery in the past (thanks, vampire drain!), and I've found that:
They always accept a jump start, although they require one each and every time you start the car. Currently, my car doesn't accept a jump start, as stated above.
Though the battery may have enough juice to turn on the dash lights, dome lights, etc. when you first enter the car, when you try to start it, it chews through all remaining power and won't try to start twice. Currently, I can attempt to start my car indefinitely -- it just won't do anything but click at me.
We also believe the battery to be fine because we hooked up a trouble light to it and tried to start the car. It didn't so much as flicker, which indicates to us that the battery isn't the issue -- the car isn't even trying to pull power from it.
We tried hooking the trouble light up to the starter (specifically, the cable that looks like a speaker wire), and it's getting no power whatsoever. We also tried smacking the starter with a screwdriver while starting, as is commonly suggested, but this had no effect (as expected), so we believe the starter is fine and currently suspect this is some sort of electrical system problem.
Where do we go from here? Is it obvious what the problem is based on what I've said, or are there additional steps we could take to further narrow this down?